evitagalvez:

antidote4irony:

1. Bellamarie – My mom was in the house of her beauty queen/actress friend.  Mom: “Wow, I love the ambience ha!” Beauty Queen/Actress: “Naku asawa ko nag-ayos ng bahay eh, kaya hindi ko alam kung saan niya nabili yun…”
2. No name – My brother was in an FX when a pa-sosyal lady beside him said, “NO LIKE THAT-an!” (”walang ganyanan” in Tagalog) to someone she’s talking to on the phone. And what was her phone? A Bayantel wireless landline!
3. Nixon – Friend: “Starbucks nanaman? I’m so sawa na, I’m always here eh!” Me: “What do you usually order ba?” Friend: “Uhm…kape?”
4. Bajoink – In Sbarro, a feeling sosy Pinay with a foreigner boyfriend was asked: “What sauce would you like on your pasta?” The Pinay haughtily answered: “Ketchap.”
5. Louise Lane – I work for an expensive Japanese resto in a 5-star hotel.  When I told a couple that we only had plain iced tea, the lady exclaimed: “Anong klaseng restawran to, wala man lang RED iced tea!” Eh ang nagse-serve lang naman ng RED iced tea at the time was Tokyo Tokyo!
6. Mary – An officemate always wears MANGO, pero nangungutang ng P50 pang McDo tapos hindi nagbabayad.
7. Lingere – If you say stuff like: “I wanna work in a bank. Nandun ang pera.”
8. Dru – Kung naka-iPhone nga, prepaid naman, tapos wala pang load.
9. His cuteness – A friend was asked what his dad did for a livin. He answered: “Cardiologist.” (taga-ayos ng radio sa car)
10. Lingerer – When I ran into a friend at a mall parking lot, I asked, “O, anong ginagawa mo dito?” He answered: “I have a car!”
11. Jarod – When we were in Kenneth Cole, a lady in her 30’s asked the saleslady: “Miss, diba kapatid ni Kenneth Cole si Cole Haan?”
12. No name – A pa-sosy date ordered steak, and she added: “Medium rare, please!” Pagdating ng steak, she goes: “Yak, may dugo! Hilaw pa!”
13. Meatball – Friend: “Yah were always in Baguio, in Camp John Wayne!”
14. No name – Cousin: “I don’t eat regular grapes, excuse me! I only eat the boneless!”
15. Carla – In New Jersey, the waitress asked ow we wanted our eggs. Me: “Poached please.” Cousin: “Scrambled for me.” Her friend: “Me sunny outside.”
16. Frederique – When we saw Carmi Martin in the mall, I shouted: “Hi Carmi!” She smiled and waved back.  My friend asked kung kilala ko siya. I answered: “Aba siyempre naman, kilala ko siya! Pero ako, hindi niya kilala…”
17. Geyp – If you shorten the brand names to, “LV, Havs, and D&G”, not because you’re a suki, but because you can’t pronounce the long versions.
18. No name – I heard 2 girls in our school talking. Girl 1: “Oh my gawd, I looove Linea Italia!” Girl 2: “Oh my gawd, me too! I looove their pasta!”

**credits to chico’s blog:)

#5 - Applicable to Joey and Tinsay =))

 Huh? I dont get #5 Evita. Pls. explain. Hahaha